Timing of first sexual intercourse in a relationship: Expectations, experiences, and perceptions of others

Abstract

We investigated 242 college students’ expectations about when sexual intercourse would first occur within different types of relationships. Participants reported their personal expectations, experiences, and beliefs about the sexual expectations of the “average woman” and “average man” in relationships with or without strong physical attraction and emotional involvement. Results show that, in general, men expect sexual intercourse after significantly fewer dates (approximately 9–11) than women do (approximately 15–18). In addition, expectations were related to actual experiences for women, but not men. Participants also tended to exhibit pluralistic ignorance about sex, believing in a norm for the average person of their gender that was considerably more permissive than were their own standards. The average man and woman were perceived as expecting sex earlier within a relationship and irrespective of physical attraction or emotional involvement. In contrast, most men and women only expected sex when they were attracted to a partner, although men were more likely than women to expect sex in the absence of emotional closeness. Implications of pluralistic ignorance and gender differences in sexual expectations are discussed.